Six Sentence Sunday – 21 October 2012

Greetings, all!

It’s that time again! Giant Killer continues directly from last week’s bit. David has left Eitan to tend the flock and runs home:

O Lord, keep them well, he prayed as he ran, begging not so much for his own comfort or that of his brothers, but for his father’s peace of mind. Jesse’s life numbered four score years and his health fled from him more each season—a son’s death would surely be his undoing.

David’s powerful pace quickly devoured the distance to their homestead. His sinewy frame belied his strength and fitness, and he arrived at the house little bothered by the physical exertion. Entering the cool darkness of the interior, he called out, “Abba”—Papa—“I came immediately. Are you well?”

Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to read more six sentence offerings here.

‘Til next time!

17 thoughts on “Six Sentence Sunday – 21 October 2012”

Interesting snippet. Hope you post more next week. 🙂

CC on October 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm said:

Thanks for commenting, Gayle! There’s definitely more next week!

You’ve done an excellent job creating a tense scene. You do have one, teenie tiny typo. In the first sentence I’m pretty sure you meant as, instead of at he ran.
Great six!

CC on October 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm said:

Thanks, Jess! I totally missed that! Glad you stopped by!

Great emotional tension here, thanks for sharing!

Does this look like a tasty sundae? http://www.zazzle.ca/delicious_ice_cream_sundae_postcard-239411576337688920

CC on October 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm said:

Thanks for taking the time, Chris!

Nice description and good emotion! Nice six!

CC on October 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm said:

Glad you liked it, Joanne!

You conveyed the worry so well here. Very well written and paced.

CC on October 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm said:

Thank you so much, JM!

This is tense but very natural. I’d forgotten that David was a son of Jesse’s old age. To be summoned like that he’d naturally fear the worst.

We have a Jesse Tree in our local church. It’s massive. Lovely calm expression on hs face.

CC on October 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm said:

Thanks for sharing, Elin! Always enjoy your support!

Love the action from last week and this one. You convey the sense of urgency and fill in a bit of backstory, too. Well done!

CC on October 21, 2012 at 6:05 pm said:

Thanks for the ongoing encouragement, Silver!

I enjoyed reading this, liked the style and the story sounds very interesting, different from the other sss I’ve read so far.

CC on October 21, 2012 at 9:55 pm said:

I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

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